Tuesday Tips: On Picking Your Battles

Anyone who has been in a serious relationship knows that it isn't all sunshine and roses and champagne.  Sometimes it gets tough.  Really really really tough.  And if you're a smart, strong-willed, confident, passion-driven person like me, chances are it's hard for you to just bite the bullet sometimes (or at all) especially during a disagreement.  And, it's damned near impossible to do so when you're right - and you're always right.  Right?  RIGHT.

Unfortunately, life isn't all black and white or right and wrong.  There are lots of gray areas that you need to figure out and lots of in-betweens that you need to balance.  A relationship is one giant grey area.  Winning an argument against your spouse or significant other doesn't necessarily make you feel good about your win.  Sometimes you have to be wrong.  Sometimes you don't need to add in that last remark.  Sometimes maybe you just need to shut the fuck up and let it go.

Now, don't get me wrong.  I'm not saying to be a doormat and have people walk all over you.  If it's important, speak up.  But, if it's an argument about who's to blame for the toilet paper facing the wrong way or who's turn it is to take out the trash or cook dinner - get over it and move on.  What are you really gaining by winning that argument?  You're both in a bad mood at the end of it so who really wins?

If you don't know how to pick your battles and how to let go of the little things, you'll lose sight of the bigger picture - the partnership and love that you both share.  Little arguments will turn into bigger ones and those big arguments can ultimately ruin everything if they get too out of hand.  People can say hurtful things they don't really mean or do things out of spite when they're angry.  Don't let one hurtful comment or one selfish act ruin your entire relationship. 

Think.  Take a step back.  Let it go.

Just so you know, my relationship is FAR from perfect.  Joey and I argue, we fight, and sometimes we say things we don't mean in the heat of the moment.  But, we also know when to stop, how not to take things too far, how to walk away from an argument and not take it around with us, how to apologize, and how to forgive.  There is still a lot that we need to improve on both individually and as a couple.  But that's a relationship: learning and growing together.

What do you do when you get into an argument with your spouse/significant other?  How do you both resolve the situation?  What are some things you're trying to work on?

Tuesday Tips: On Rocksbox

Let me start off my saying this:  just because something seems like a good idea at first, doesn't always mean it's a good idea.  Rocksbox was one of those seemingly good, not-so-great-in-real-life ideas for me.  I'm not hating, I promise.  I'm sure it really is a great idea for people who love buying and wearing designer jewelry.  But, for me, personally, that's not who I am.

Now, I really did like the pieces I received.  And to be able to keep the jewelry as long as I want for $20/month, I thought it was a steal.  However, when I logged in to Rocksbox and saw how much it would be to buy the pieces and keep them forever - holy shitballs!

The packaging is really cute and so were the items I received.  I liked how every piece was in separate baggies with bubble wrap to avoid scratching and bending.

When you first sign up for Rocksbox, you do the style profile thing and then go through a list of items you "favorite" and the Rocksbox stylist takes note of your preferences and sends similar, if not the same, pieces.  The earrings they sent me were one of the items I "favorited" but didn't end up using them because I already ended up getting the same style from The Pi Collection that I love more because it's daintier than the Rocksbox version.  The earrings are listed for $28 (insider's price, $35 otherwise) on Rocksbox.

The necklace was really cute.  I wore it on several occasions.  The big jewels are black and the smaller jewels are like a grey blue.  The quality was nice and sturdy too.  Really nice statement piece.  However, for the list price of $60 (insider's price - $76 otherwise), I'd be able to get 5 different statement necklaces of the same quality at Ross.  Fuck that, bro.  Pass.

I really liked this ring.  It was simple yet chic and not so flashy so I was able to pair it with bracelets and other accessories without looking like those old ladies who seem to be wearing every piece of jewelry they own.  I wore it every day during the week I got it and even pondered the idea of keeping it...until it turned my finger green.  Yup.  And the gold color of the ring then turned to silver.  What. the. actual. fuck.  You would think that if they're trying to pass these off as designer quality jewelry at $30 (insider's price, $38 otherwise) it should be able to keep its color at least!

So, needless to say, my Rocksbox subscription has been cancelled.  I'd much rather save that $20 a month and buy my jewelry at Ross or Forever21 or something.

What do you think?  Are you a Rocksbox subscriber or not?  Either way, I hope this little review has been helpful for you.  I posted it as a "Tuesday Tips" because it's more a post on my advice to not waste your time/money on it like I did, especially if you're a fellow cheap ass and/or you don't wear a lot of jewelry anyway.  My loss is your gain, right?

P.S.  Sorry for the yellowish quality of my photos, it's because of the light in our living room.  Got any photography tips on lighting?

Tuesday Tips: Living through a water outage on Guam

If you follow me on Instagram, you would have noticed my post the other day where I made a joke about Guam's water outages:

Water outages happen a lot here, especially during and after storms (remember my Typhoon Dolphin post where I mentioned that we had no water or electricity for days?) and there's really nothing you can do but sit and wait for the problem to be fixed.  Over the years, I've adapted to the outages and have learned ways to cope with the situations.  Though they'll never be pleasant, at least we make them more manageable and easier to deal with with these tips:

1.  Take your tiara off - there are no princesses here.  When you have to go days without running water, it's best not to act like you're the shit because you will probably be smelling like shit eventually.  Learning to handle the situation is the most important thing.  Everyone else is probably feeling just as gross and nasty as you are after not being able to shower all day so don't be so quick to lose your temper.  It is not a life or death situation.  You will survive and come out a better, more self sufficient, person after all of this.

2.  Save tap water in sealed containers beforehand.  If a water outage is scheduled to happen (or even if it's not), it's best to prepare ahead and fill up a few gallons of water just in case.  Buckets, empty storage bins, whatever you've got.  When there is a water outage on Guam for a long or uncertain amount of time, there are usually reservoir tanks set up in the villages for residents to get water.  You will have to bring your own containers and stand in line to fill them up just like everyone else.  Remember #1 above.

3.  Buy bottled water for drinking and brushing your teeth.  The water in the reservoir tank is non-potable, which means it's not suitable for drinking.  Keep bottled water stocked so you can at least brush your teeth.  You can also conserve water by drinking alcohol instead.

4.  Jump around and try to muffle your screams.  Unless you've decided to boil your water on the stove (not really worth the wait in my opinion), chances are you'll be showering in cold water.  Jumping around helps but it's best not to scream out loud or your neighbors might think you're being murdered.  They won't come to your rescue of course, because that means they'll have to use their water to wash your blood.  Best just to try to keep it down by pretending you're on an episode of Silent Library or something.

5.  Be prepared for awkward moments.  If you've still got water trickling out of the bottom spout in your shower/tub, consider yourself lucky because your water hasn't run all the way out yet and you've got yourself a free yoga session!  Squat down and get as low as you can to fit yourself under that spout because who knows how long that precious trickle will last!  If it's raining outside then even better because mother nature is helping you out!  Grab your shampoo and your loofah and shower outside.  Like camping.  Real camping - not that "glamping" bullshit.

6.  Hold your breath.  You're in for quite a wake up call if you think your shit smells like roses.  Without water, you won't be able to flush your toilet so your bathroom is bound to smell like a port-o-potty sooner or later.  Sure, you can mask the stench with sprays and fragrances, but just the thought of all that crap sitting in the toilet is enough to make you want to vomit.  You're going to have to manually flush that out by pouring a bucket into the bowl to force all those roses down the drain.  Fun, huh?

7.  If you've got the cash, treat yo'self.  If you really cannot go without a long hot shower, you can always rent a hotel room somewhere until the water in your area is restored (assuming that it's not an island-wide outage).  You can also splurge and stock up on wipes to keep you feeling fresh throughout the days.

8.  Stay lazy.  During water outages, it's best to keep still.  Guam is almost always hot and even just sitting outside can make you sweat so it's best to be as lazy as you can until your water is restored.  No working out, doing yardwork, etc. because you'll get sweaty and stinky and who knows how long it'll be until you're able to shower.  Perfect excuse to stay indoors with the A/C on and binge on Netflix.

9.  Keep things simple with kids.  Most times, wherever the water outage occurs, schools in the area will be closed.  This means that you'll not only be out of water, but your kids will be stuck at home all day.  To conserve, prepare meals that don't require water to cook with (sandwiches, pizza, etc.) and aren't so messy.  Probably also not a great idea for them to be outside digging in the dirt either.  Keep it simple and have them do activities that don't require a lot of water to clean up.

10.  When water is restored, take the longest shower EVER.  You deserve it.  You've survived!

So, what do you think about my tips on surviving a water outage?  Have you ever had a water outage that lasted more than a day?  Do you think you'd be able to last a week-long outage?

Tuesday Tips: On Setting Goals for the Future

I read an email this morning that really opened my eyes to goal setting and documenting accomplishments.  The email was actually a newsletter from XO Sarah titled "Where do you want to be this time next year?" that talked about how she realized that she "made it" as far as where she wanted to be in her life as of last year.

It made me realize that I've never really set out a list of things I wanted to accomplish in a year's time.  I talk about the future and post little goals for myself here and there but don't really have an actual checklist to refer back to.  It made me wonder:  Where am I right now?  Where did I think I would be last year?  What kinds of things do I want for myself for next year?

I mean, the big picture is the easy part.  Eventually I want to have a boutique, a house of my own, not have to worry about whether I'll have enough money in my account to pay all the bills on time, be surrounded with people I love who love me back, and be able to inspire others to create and do amazing things.  All of those things are what I hope to accomplish eventually in my life, but they're all still general ideas that need to be broken down and put into an actual plan in order for me to even start tackling them.

 "The thing is - if you don't make a conscious plan of where you want to go, you likely won't realize when you arrive. "

So tonight I will sit down with a glass of wine (which will most likely be a vodka/cranberry instead) and start going through my "eventually" goals to break them down into "1-year" goals.  This way, each year I'll be able to look back at my list and congratulate myself on my accomplishments and say "fuck yeah" because I actually did it, even if it was something as seemingly small as "deposit $500 in a savings account".  Dream big, start small.

Do you have an idea of where you see yourself this time next year?  What goals do you have to achieve to get there?

Tuesday Tips: Find what works for you.

I've decided it's time to change things up a bit around here as far as my posting and content go.  Some things I used to write about aren't as big a deal to me anymore, while other things have begun to hold more importance in my life than they previously did.

That being said, I'd like to incorporate more inspirational posts - sharing things that I love, mood boards, color palettes, DIY's, etc.  I've really come to love my "Monthly Mantras" and from the feedback I've received so far, it seems you all love them too so I wanted to take that concept and expand on it.  But, not too much where you get overwhelmed with inspiration like we all do on Pinterest.

I'm also changing the "Tuesday Tips" posts around a bit by making it more general and open rather than focused only on blogging tips.  I mean, I've been blogging for like 3 years, parenting for 9, been in a relationship for almost 10 years, but living for 29 (holy shit) - so that kind of makes me a life expert.  Just kidding.  In real life, I'm a great listener (actual people have said so) and I'm the kind of friend who shows support and gives advice if asked, so I'd like to be able to do the same here in blogland.  I just want to share parenting/relationship/life knowledge with you like we're hanging out at Starbucks.  Or a bar.  Whatever you like.  Sort of like an advice column, but without the "Dear Abby" and bad 80's photo.  Or, you know, we can do that too.

So that's it for now.  I just wanted to share with you the minor changes and shifts that will be happening here.  There will still be beauty/makeup posts, hopefully more fashion/outfits, and posts about Guam and my life, but my goal is for this to be a place of inspiration.  Whether it be through the words on the screen or the photos, I just want you to leave here inspired, empowered and ready to take on the world.