WODW: Looking for Guidance

Lately my posts have been few and far between and though I've been wanting to write, I haven't really been inspired enough to put together a complete post other than the random ones I've done.  I've been so busy with real life - work all week (and some weekends), kids' school projects, holidays, birthday parties, kids' sports, running errands, cleaning and organizing the house - that I feel like I have no time for anything else. 

My down time (if any) is spent sitting on the couch staring at the TV screen - not really watching, just trying to melt into the sofa and be invisible for a little while before someone comes screaming about a toy not being shared, a mess that needs cleaning, a last minute science project due the next day or some other catastrophe.  Needless to say, my writing process is pretty much nonexistent right now and I'd like that to change.


Writing always used to come easy for me.  It was a way to express my feelings, to let out anger, to put my memories and thoughts on paper.  English and creative writing were my favorite classes in high school.  I enjoyed the challenge of daily writing prompts and loved having my work edited and reviewed by my teachers and my peers.  Every comment, notation and red mark helped me learn and become a better writer.

Now, as an adult, I feel as though I struggle with my writing.  The chaos of everyday life is draining and I don't have the energy to set aside time to write.  And, when I do write, I feel as though I'm not writing at my best because I don't have the guidance or feedback I need to do better.  That feeling throws me into a funk and makes me lose interest in what I'd written or had planned to write.  Does anyone else feel that way?

I know that managing my time better would give me the freedom to write, but the passion and all the feels I used to have about writing and the writing process in high school will still be missing.  My motivation to write comes and goes so quickly that sometimes it takes me a ridiculous amount of time to get through one piece.  (I started drafting this post a week ago).  Sometimes I read through it before I publish, sometimes I just hit "Publish" and close the browser without proofreading or even reading the completed post just to get it done.  That's not how I want it to be anymore and that's not how I want to write.

I want to be a better writer, not just for blogging, but for life in general.  I love learning and sharing what I've learned with others, I love being able to express myself on paper and have those words inspire others.  So...I'm thinking about taking up a writing course to help me get to where I want to be with my writing skills.  I don't know where or how just yet, but it's something that I've been contemplating for a while now so I'm finally going to start looking around for classes, workshops, etc.  In the meantime, I'm going to TRY to start writing more by doing more prompts, writing more inspiring posts, and by keeping a journal or something to jot down thoughts, poems, stories, etc.

What is your writing process?  Do you know of any online classes or courses that you could recommend to me?  What is something you love doing but haven't been able to do lately?

Tuesday Tips: The 5-Step Blog Refresh

1.  Get rid of everything you don't need.  Random buttons from blogs that don't exist anymore, that "Bucket List" page that you even forgot you had, the old profile picture and "about me" blub and anything that hasn't been updated in over 6 months.

2.  Get a new design.  If you've got the cash, there are lots of designs available that you can customize to your heart and wallet's content.  However, if you'd rather save up for a pair of Valentino's, that's fine too!  There are tons of free designs, programs, etc. out there so you can create your own design all by yourself!  I know one blogger who actually drew and scanned her blog background pattern and it looked AMAZING!

3.  Fill in the blanks.  So now that you've deleted everything you didn't need or haven't updated, it's time to start fresh.  Write a brand new "about me" blurb, go through your selfies and update your profile picture, get buttons from your current favorite blogs, etc.  This is also the time when you could add new pages or elements to your blog (Instagram widget, favorite blogs page, etc.).

4.  Keep it consistent.  Once you're happy with the new look and feel of your blog's design and layout, take that design and make it consistent with your social media accounts, email newsletters, signature, etc.  It makes everything look a lot more professional when it all just flows together.  Plus, why would you not want to show off your new design?

5.  Plan ahead.  Now that you've got your happy internet place all spruced up, it's time to start planning for monthly updates, scheduling future posts, setting aside time for special projects (vlogs, photoshoots, product reviews, etc.) and scheduling updates to promote your posts on your social media accounts.

It may seem like a lot to do, but once you get the ball rolling and you get to that sweet spot where inspiration and motivation hits, it'll be a breeze.  Your blog is your internet home, keep it clean and fresh and it will continue to be a happy place.  And don't we all just want our own happy place?

Pardon the progress...

If you've been noticing some changes around here, don't be alarmed!  I'm finally getting around to updating and redesigning so please be patient while things get changed around and around and around again...

Please also let me know if links are broken or images aren't loading properly so I can try and fix them as soon as possible!

But, what do you think so far of the new vibe?  I'm trying to show more of my life and style through the design.  I love nature and am an island girl through and through but I do also have a more sophisticated side and enjoy the finer things in life.  I call it "coconut glam".  Are you getting that vibe yet?

I still have more to do so thank you for being patient!  As always, feedback and comments are most welcome!

Blogger Rebellion

I saw this notice pop up yesterday as I was getting some blog time in and it kind of pissed me off a little.  I mean, I don't post nude photos of myself or anyone anyway so it wouldn't really affect my previous posts and photos, but still.  The fact that someone is going to try and limit what I do on the internet at all just makes me mad.  It kind of makes me want to post explicit pictures just to show them how I feel.  But, of course, I won't.

I guess it's the same with any type of authority that tries blocking or banning you from doing something - it makes you want to do it even more.  Obviously, I don't take to kindly to being told what I can and cannot do on the internet since I'm STILL getting around the web blocks here at work and streaming YouTube playlists instead of Pandora.  Suck on that, I.T. guys!

Anyway, so because Google and Blogger feel like they have the authority to limit and ban what we post on the internet and on our blogs, I've decided that they can no longer be trusted.  That being said, I'm thinking about switching over to WordPress.  The thing is, I'm freaking out - I've never used WordPress, I'm not used to it, and I have no idea how to even start to do that.  Sooooo...I'll be researching and doing my homework on how to transition to WordPress over the weekend and will also take notes to post up on Tuesday's Tips in case anyone else is thinking about making the switch.

What do you think about Blogger's new "Adult Content" policy?  Do you use WordPress or Blogger?  Know of any helpful sites or posts that could help me transition?  Please HELP!

Tuesday Tips: Outsourcing

 Even though we claim we are, we can't always be the superhero of our blog.  We can't expect to get all our posts up on time all day err'day, have pin-worthy photos in every post, respond to every single comment on every single post within 5 minutes, or create and design every single aspect of our blog all on our own.  Sure, we're still the Beyonce of our blogs but, hey - even Beyonce pays people to do shit for her.

Now if you know me, you know I'm all about saving a few bucks and trying it on my own before I pay anyone else to do it for me, but I still outsource from time to time depending on what I need in order to (a) avoid killing myself in the process, (b) save time and energy that I don't have to begin with and (c) to be sure that I'm happy with the final product and if not, I'll at least have someone else to blame for it.

Some things that I happily pay others to do:  anything that has to do with electricity, cutting my hair, car repairs, and of course, cooking/baking things that I'm too lazy to make myself.  I don't mess with no fuse boxes, turn my car in to the shop when the maintenance light goes on, and order cookies for holidays/birthdays/special occasions from Roxanne Diaz, who does an amazing job every time.  (If you live on Guam and are looking for some custom cookies for an event, you MUST check her out!)

As far as blogging goes, I like to pride myself in coming this far over the past couple years.  I designed my current layout and theme all on my own and had a hell of a time trying to piece it all together so it looked good on the real life internet.  Would I do it again?  Maybe.  Anytime soon?  NO.  I would like a new design for this year, but just the thought of doing it all over is giving me a migraine.  

Now, as we all know, the internet is ginormous but it can seem very small when you're looking for something really specific, especially when it comes to your blog.  There are a lot of freebies out there for you to take advantage of, but there are also some really amazing things that'll cost you a few (sometimes hundreds) bucks.  It's a no-brainer to always look through the free stuff, then the sale stuff before hitting the full-price racks, but when it comes to certain things, you just gotta go ahead and get it while you can.  Here are some splurge-worthy blog things that are worth cracking open that wallet for:

Fonts.  I love me some fonts.  Lately I've been on a brush script font kick and have been scouring the internet for some really good ones.  I found one called Manhattan Darling that I fell in love with so when I saw it came with a few bonus graphics, I just knew I had to have it.

Blog Kits.  This one called The Jasmine Blog Kit is seriously calling my name right now.  Loving the colors and the graphics so much, this might just be the next design for Frikken Duckie.  What do you think?

Graphic Sets.  For those who love creating wallpapers/posters/quotes, I think spending a few bucks on some graphic sets can be worth it.  In addition to my brush script kick, I've also been on a watercolor graphics kick and cannot wait to start purchasing some of the sets by Graphic Box.  Especially the floral ones!

If you're into the whole blog stats/numbers/traffic counting/etc., then by all means, go right ahead and hire an SEO to help you raise your ratings.  Personally, I don't know anything about SEO or traffic counting or any of that other stuff and I don't really care to.  But again, that's just me.  You do you.

So, what do you think about outsourcing?  What have you splurged on for the sake of your blog?  How much are you willing to DIY vs. spending?

Tuesday Tips: Blog Love

 
In keeping with the spirit of love for this week, I decided to talk about the importance of Blog Love.  Just like in real life, when you love something you want to talk about it, be about it, and make everyone see how wonderful it is.  And, also like real life, when you love something so much that you start to lose yourself in it, it's probably time to take a step back for a bit and work on yourself.

Sharing a blog post, re-tweeting, pinning images from a post, giving credit to someone who inspired you or even giving a shout-out to a fellow blogger in a post of your own are all great ways to spread some blog love.  Share a little blog love today and put some positivity out there.  You'd be surprised at how much a quick shout-out or tweet of appreciation can affect a person.


Need help?  Check out some of these awesome posts by some amazing bloggers:

I'm so proud of this chick for putting her dream into motion... >>
One day I plan to visit Trinidad & Tobago to hang out with Krystal and NOT talk about work... >>
This gorgeous gal is engaged and getting married on my birthday next year... >>
I always end up wanting everything that she has after reading her reviews... >>
Treat Yo' Self to some of the awesome items on this badass single girl's gift guide... >>

So, what are you waiting for?  Get some of that love going!

P.S. I know this post is two days late but I just had to get it up even if it was late!  That's love.

Tuesday Tips: Prepare for Good Days

Yay, it's the first "blogging" post of the year!  Now that we've all gotten over the holiday hangovers it's time to get down to biz-nass.

Okay, before we get started I want you to stop and think about your day.  How is it going so far?  Good?  Bad?  Awesome?

A lot of times, the outcome of our day depends on our morning routine.  When I ignore the alarm clock in the morning, I end up waking up late and then become frustrated with myself and everyone else because I have to rush through everything which leads to me having a bad day.  But, when I wake up early or on time I'm able to get a quick workout in, shower in peace and drink a cup of coffee while the kids get ready for school so I'm much more relaxed and positive throughout the day.

Think about some of the good days you've had recently.  What was so good about it?  What routines did you go through on those days?  What prepares you for good days?

For me, a good day consists of morning yoga, a hot cup of coffee, and upbeat/feel-good music.  I'm usually extremely motivated and productive throughout the rest of the day when I'm able to do a little yoga or work up a sweat in the morning.

Now let's think about how you work.  Do you need complete silence?  Do you work better under pressure?  What do you absolutely need to get you motivated and focused on what you need to do?

I used to think that having the freedom to do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted was when I worked best.  But, when I really got to thinking about it, I realized that with so much freedom it was easier for me to lose focus and get distracted with other projects and things.  I know now that having a deadline or a set limit of time pushes me to actually complete tasks and allows me to think outside-the-box when I have to.

Another thing that helps me to work well is having a routine.  I try to plan my day efficiently and keep certain things constant and routine.  Same thing should apply when it comes to blogging.  Though I do like to keep my post topic options open and flexible, there are still certain constant things that I do (okay, not lately because I've been in a slump) to help me keep on track when I blog.

Now that it's a new year, it's time to start/get back to good habits in all aspects of our lives, blogging included.  So, I've prepared a little worksheet to help us get out of our slumps and get back to blogging full-force!  Nothing too fancy, just a little checklist of sorts to motivate us and keep us focused on our tasks.  Enjoy!

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE WORKSHEET

What do you absolutely need to get through your day?  Where do you find inspiration to blog?  What questions help you get through writer's block?

Tuesday Tips: Don't be afraid to delete.

Good grief.  Tuesday’s post didn’t go up as planned, and neither did yesterday's post.  Sorry!  This is why I hate relying on the auto schedule.  Womp womp.  Anyway, so you'll be getting two posts today.  This one (from Tuesday) and another one later this evening (from yesterday).

I had a smile plastered on my face while I was reading through the comments of my post yesterday.  I’m seriously thrilled that you’re all still hanging around here and I’m so glad that you shared your updates with me!  I can see that everyone’s been so busy with the holidays and we’re all ready for some relaxing time with our family.  I don’t know about you, but it’s times like these where I wish I were a teacher so I could get breaks just like the kids do.

With the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, it’s easy for our blogs to get pushed to the side and put on the “not right now” list of things we need to get done.  I mean, hey, mine’s been on that list for the past few months!  It’s all good, bro.  Real life comes before blog life and we have to prioritize accordingly.  The down side to that is once you get back to your blog, you’ve got a list of shit to do that makes Santa’s list look like a post-it.

So what do you do when you’ve got a space that needs a lot of organizing and updating but no patience or time to get it all done right away?  Well, I don’t know what you do, but here’s what I do:  start from scratch.  Yep.  Get rid of it.   

Okay, not all of it (unless you want to), but at least get rid of all the things you don’t absolutely need.  All those ads and buttons that have been hanging around your sidebar all year?  DELETE.  Unless they’ve been paid for, just get rid of them.  You can always go back later and re-add them if you need to.  It's just easier to start with an empty space than to try and organize or prioritize an already cluttered area.

Also, that profile image and intro blurb?  DELETE.  Okay, maybe keep the photo, but delete the blurb and rewrite it and make it fresh and new again.  Reintroduce yourself to your readers and followers.

Hmm...what else?  Basically, just try to strip things down to the bare minimum.  Delete all the old info and go back and update it later when you have more time.  I'll be deleting and updating here and there throughout the next couple of weeks so that by the time 2015 comes, I won't have to stress out about doing a massive update to the whole thing.  The design will probably stay the same but everything else should be fresh and new.

What about you?  What updates do you have to get done before the new year arrives?  What's your strategy to getting it done?

Tuesday Tips: It's Never Too Late

This is an apology post.  I've been a horrible blogger and an even horrible-er (that's a word, right?) friend to all of you.  I've been trying to post as often as I can (I found a way to get around the security block at work for posting) but I have been too distracted and too busy to respond to comments and visit other blogs.  It's not fair to you guys (who I still love) and I'm sorry.

Now that we're just about settled in at our new place (just a few minor adjustments left until we're fully settled), I've got a little more time on my hands in the evenings and weekends to watch Netflix, read, do crafts, etc. - all the things I was always too tired to do before (even though we lived close to work, school, restaurants, etc.).  My evenings are much more relaxed and less chaotic than before and I love that most of the time when I get home now dinner is cooked (thanks to my M.I.L. who lives on the other side of the duplex and always cooks enough for a small army) and the kids have their homework finished, Joey's already been home for a couple hours and has cleaned up the house a bit, and all I have to do is eat, get the kids ready for bed at 8pm and relax until I decide to crawl into bed.

Hopefully tonight I'll be able to workout and get some blogging done.  I've really missed reading your blogs and stalking the crap out of your lives.  I feel like I've lost touch with quite a few of you and I want that connection back, dammit!  I know I've been in and out of the blogging world lately especially because of the security block bullshit but I'm trying!  I've got to start setting and hitting goals again because I've been in such a slump, I need motivation!

Here's my blogging goal for the rest of the year:  Comment on at LEAST 10 blogs every day and make 1 NEW blog friend every week.

What do you think of my goal?  Do you have any blog things you'd like to apologize for?  Have you started your blog goals for 2015 yet?

P.S.  I also realize that I owe you guys a giveaway for this month too.  I'll get on that before the week is up, I promise!  While we were moving and packing, I was forced to go through all my crap and realized how much good crap I had lying around that would be great for giveaways.  I'm debating whether I should just use one item at a time or just do a "Crap I Found While Moving" prize pack.  Any thoughts or suggestions?

Tuesday Tips: Blog Chores

Goodness, it's already November!  Seriously, where has the year gone?  Being that it's still the beginning of the month, and I've gone missing for the past two weeks (yet again), it's about time I get to work on my monthly blog chores.

Nobody likes doing chores, but it is something that must be done in order to keep a nice and tidy living space.  Same rules apply for your blogging space.  In order to keep things on your blog running smoothly, here are a few things you can do:

1.  Update your blog statistics.  We usually list our stats on our advertising/sponsorship pages so it is important to update these monthly so that we're providing potential clients and sponsors with the current information.

2.  Clear out your sidebars.  Get rid of old ads, links and buttons that no longer work or are no longer relevant.

3.  Take a selfie.  Changing your profile/intro photo is a quick and easy way to update the look of your blog without having to redesign the whole thing.  Most of us take a selfie at least once a month anyway (even once a day, for some) so why not change it up on our blogs too?

4.  Schedule important dates.  Got a sponsored post due?  Planning on doing a themed post on a certain day?  Plan it!  Days go by so quickly and with all the craziness of our real lives, sometimes we tend to neglect our blogs (guilty!) so having a deadline can make it a little easier to plan for posting and blog time.

5.  Make a new friend.  Okay, so this one is more of a goal instead of a chore but, each month, reach out and connect with one new person.  Interact with your followers and turn them into something even better:  friends!

So, what chores have you been procrastinating on?  What would you add to this list?

Tuesday Tips: Write Good.

I've learned quite a bit through all my years of blogging (and it's been years) and I've realized how much I've grown and how far this blog has come.  I know I've mentioned before that the design and the "look" of your blog is really important - and it is - but that's all pretty simple once you know what you want it to look like and how to organize and make your blog easy to navigate.  The hardest thing is your content:  what you write about and how you write it.

If you've been blogging for some time now, you may start to notice that some days are better than others in terms of traffic and reader interaction.  Take a look at your most popular posts and compare those with posts that didn't get as much love and take note of the differences.  Was the popular one a DIY?  Did you write about a deeply personal experience and pour your heart out?  Was the not-so-popular one full of sponsored links?  Did it go on and on and have lots of spelling and grammatical errors and also a ton of run on sentences that may have confused some people who aren't used to your writing?  (See what I did there?)

Now I'm not saying I'm the best blogger in the world - hell, I've been gone most of the past two months - but I know what kind of posts I enjoy reading and commenting on and the kind of posts that make me cringe inwardly and make me want to delete that blog from my feed.  I'm still learning and growing as a writer just like everyone else (we bloggers are always trying to improve) so here's a few post tips that I try to follow.

Before hitting that publish button:

1.  Proofread!  Tell those spelling/grammar Nazis out there to fuck off by proofreading your shit!  It's not hard - those squiggly red lines are there to help you.

2.  Ask yourself:  Is this something I would read?  (My homegirl Helene can testify to that.)  Usually, if you yourself aren't feeling it, chances are others might not be feeling it either.  Don't half-ass it just to get something up.

3.  Give your readers an opportunity to engage by asking them a question (or two or three) at the end that's relevant to your post.  Sometimes even if you've got a great post, it's hard for readers to get involved and comment with something other than "great post" so a little nudge doesn't hurt.  It's like saying, "Well, enough about me, what about you?"  BOOM.  Blog friendship acquired.

4.  Understand your writing style.  This one is tricky since our writing styles can change every once in a while, but the easiest way to figure it out is to write it how you would speak it.  If you throw in sarcastic jokes when you're having a conversation with friends, by all means, show that in your post!  How else are we supposed to know that you have a sick sense of humor like we do?  If you cuss in real life conversation, then what the fuck - type that shit out too!  Showing your REAL self through your writing helps us to connect with you on a more personal level and makes it seem like we're actual real life friends.  I don't know how many of my conversations start off with "My friend from [insert state/country where blogger lives]..." these days because of all the awesome people I've "met" through blogging.

And that's it.  Four simple things to check before publishing a post.  Like I said earlier, I "try" to follow these but sometimes I'm in too much of a hurry to proofread or I've just got to meet a post deadline for certain sponsored posts and that's fine.  There's no surefire way to get more followers or comments or write great posts and not everyone is going to like what you have to say, but that's okay.  It's all about learning and growing, baby.  Learning and growing.

Also, I just had to take a tip from one of my favorite bloggers, Sarah, and throw this one in since we're all about learning and growing and sharing today.  Fill in the blanks and tweet to share what you write about and show off your best post!

I'm ___________ from ____________ and my best post was ______________.  #frikkenfriends

But tell me, what does your publishing process look like?  Do you have any tips to share?  What was your most popular post and why?

Tuesday Tips: 5 Best iPhone Apps for Bloggers

With all the talk about my new iPhone last month, I decided to put together a list of my 5 favorite apps that help keep my blogging game on point.

Wunderlist  //  You know how much we bloggers love lists?  Well Wunderlist is like the holy grail app for lists.  You can create lists and sub-lists, add tasks, set deadlines and reminders, share your lists with others, and so much more.  I've got a list for blogging, work, fitness, groceries, cleaning, etc. to help keep me on task.

PartyParty  //  By far my newest favorite photo app.  Created by the bloggers of A Beautiful Mess, this app allows for you to take multiple photos, edit and filter them, and save them as a collage or a slideshow.  One of the coolest things about it that separates it from all the other slideshow apps is that you can change the speed AND also save a copy of it as a GIF image.  Hells to the yeah.

BlogGo  //  Another blogger-created app by Wonder Forest, BlogGo is a MUST download for all Blogger users.  Post, edit, read, review comments, and insert photos all from your iPhone or iPad.  I've done several of my posts (like this) from this app alone and though it is harder to type on the iPhone/iPad keyboards, it's still great for posting on-the-go especially when you need to get a quick post up.

TimerCam  //  For quick and easy outfit photos, this app is it.  Simple and to the point, you just set your phone down, press the button and pose.  Great for fashion blogging or fitness before and after photos and I love that I can still see myself while getting in position, not like using a timer or remote on a regular camera.

Mail  //  This one is a no-brainer.  My post comments are set up to be sent to me via email which means that I can read and respond to comments whenever and wherever my phone and I happen to be.  And yes, I do respond to comments and emails while I'm dropping a deuce.  You're welcome.

And there you have it peeps, my 5 favorite bloggy apps.  Do you use your phone to help with blogging?  What are your favorite apps?

Tuesday Tips: How to Give Your Blog a Makeover

Hooray for a hiatus!  Work and home life have been absolute chaos lately and I'm finally starting to get back into the groove of things.

So it's been a while since I've done a Tuesday Tips post and the one thing I've been hearing since I redesigned my blog (besides all the lovely comments and compliments) is "I want to redesign my blog but I don't know where to start".  Again, I'm not an expert in any way and I don't even call myself a "blog designer" but I have designed and redesigned my blog over and over again all by myself, so here's a little quick start guide for you:

1.  Create your logo.  Your logo is the most important thing about your design!  If your blog were a business, how would the rest of the world identify your business among all the others?  Find a good font, add a little flourish if you want, and throw in some of the colors you plan to use throughout your blog.

2.  Be consistent.  If you've got your logo and your color scheme together, keep it going!  There's no point in having a kick-ass logo and header only to have the rest of your design looking half-assed.  That's like having a full face of makeup and walking out of the house wearing a robe and slippers!  Use the same fonts and colors in your subheaders, buttons, pages, etc.

3.  Keep it simple.  Having too many things going on at once is distracting.  The main focus of your blog should be your posts, so try to keep everything else at a minimum.  Ads, buttons, widgets, etc. can take a really long time to load and that may deter people from reading your blog and it also makes your blog look too cluttered and unprofessional.  This ain't Myspace, people.  Let's keep those animated cursors and glitter clip art outta here and clean up your dividers, tables, and text so we don't have to scroll alllllllllll the way to the right to read the rest of that sentence.  We're classy and shit now.

Tuesday Tips: Stay Gold, Ponyboy

With everyone and their mamas in the blog world nowadays, it's nearly impossible to create content that is truly original.  There are lots of people on the internet who write about the same topics you do, review the same products you have, and wear the same outfits you've worn.  Sorry, but that's a given.  So the question is, how do you, a little fish in the big blog ocean, become a shark?  Or, better yet, a narwhal?

Chances are, you're not a skinny-mini fashion editor for Vogue with all the best fashion tips and behind-the-scenes scoops.  You probably don't have someone to follow you around all the time, taking professional photos of your brand-name outfits.  And most likely, you don't get to go on fancy vacations, can't afford to eat at fancy restaurants, or have the supplies or know-how to do some super cool DIY project that will be pinned to 1898239749275 boards by tomorrow.

It's cool, bro.

Here's my advice:  Fake it till you make it.

In the blog world, it's all about what you put out.  Now, I'm not saying to pretend you're all high and mighty with your perfect house and perfect life and Etsy err'thang when in fact you live in the basement of your mother's house and all those vintage items are just her hand-me-downs.  That's just straight-up bullshit.

What I am saying is: be yourself...but better.  You know that quote, "Be the change you want to see in the world"?  Kinda like that.  If you're completely honest with yourself and your readers, people will take notice and appreciate you more for it.  Your choice is whether to look at things negatively or whether to own it.  You can say, "I live in my parents basement" shamefully and do nothing but cry about it, or you can start posting about ways you're working to better yourself and to GTFO of there.

My point is, you don't have to have money or fancy shit or a pretty face and a small waist to make your blog awesome - you just need to figure out how to make it work for you.  You want to be a fashion blogger but don't have someone to take photos of you?  Use the timer setting on your camera or phone.  You're stuck in your hum-drum town this summer instead of being on vacation?  Be a tourist in your own town and show everyone how beautiful it is.

And remember: don't do what everyone else is doing just because they're doing it.  Do it because it's something you want to do and something you would probably have done even if it weren't the latest craze.  And if you are going to do something that's already been done, at least put your own spin on it.  If everyone were jumping off the empire state building, would you jump too?  Or, would you try to fly instead?

Oh, and if you need a proof that it doesn't take a fashion editor with professional photographs to be an amazing fashion blogger, check out Noha at Fashion In My Eyes.  She is a stay-at-home mom and she takes most of her outfit photos all.  by.  HERSELF.  Yup,  Mind.  Blown.

Tuesday Tips: On Being Overwhelmed

There are some days where you just can't.  Can't get yourself to focus, can't find inspiration, can't even think about blogging because of all the other stuff going on...and that's okay.  Not everyone can pump out posts every single day of every single week.  Even Beyonce has days where she says, "Fuck this shit."

So if you need a day off, take it.  The world won't fall apart if you do.  Relax, find your focus, and do you, boo.

I'd write more but, you know.  Fuck this shit.  For now.

Tuesday Tips: Don't be a sponsor slut.

Hooray for another edition of Tuesday Tips!  In case you don't know, Tuesdays are where I give you the low-down on all things blog related.  I'm no expert, but I like to think I know a thing or two about this whole blogging thing.  So I get to act like a hot-shot guru and you get free advice.  Win/win.

Today's subject was brought on by a few emails I received over the weekend.  Now, I'm not saying that I'm the best blogger out there and my blog is the blog to follow, but I do feel like I have enough clout to expect a certain amount of compensation around here.  Kanye-fidence.  Lmao, thanks Chris!!

Now for other blogs and bloggers, I'm all about support and swapping buttons and guest posts and giveaways and the whole shebang.  Bloggers get other bloggers.  You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours.  That's not what this post is about.  You guys are awesome.

What I'm talking about is companies, brands, and "others" who boast compensation to write about their random sites and products.  Now I'll admit that when I first started getting emails from potential sponsors I jumped at every chance I could.  I whored my blog out there like its vagina was going to fall off the next day.  (Yes, of course my blog is a woman.)  I'm not going to lie, my Paypal account really enjoyed the multiple transactions it received.  The down side was that I was losing respect from my readers and followers.

I came to realize that my blog was looking more like a generic commercialized site than a personal blog.  I was writing posts about shit that I didn't really give a crap about (disc burning software, seriously?) and that was lame.  This year I turned my whole blog around - design, focus, content, etc., and I've been wayyyyy more selective of what I put on here for you guys.  Basically I stopped being a sponsor slut.

I still do sponsored posts, product review posts, sponsored giveaways, and other stuff, but I only work with brands/companies that fit this blog and fit you.  Yes you.  You're the reader.  So if a company reaches out to me about a post for a product that doesn't relate, no thank you.  And even if it could relate somehow, I'm not going to change my point of view, the way I write, or the rate per post I charge just for the sake of a one-time transaction.

So about the email that spurred this whole sponsor slut subject:  I was contacted by a certain online wig company that sells wigs, extensions, weaves, etc.  My first thought was "wtf, I don't wear a wig" but then I started thinking about Halloween (and the Halloween party we're throwing this year) and I thought, "hey, this could be fun" so I responded to the email with my rate for 150-200 words.  Here's the response I received:

I basically laughed out loud when I saw that she tried to pressure me into it with "we have cooperated with many bloggers under $30".  Hahaha.  Sorry bro, that shit don't work no more.  We're fancy now.

And trying to make me feel bad about it with "just forget it"?  I will forget it.  But not before I tell everyone about it first.

Moral of the story:  Don't sacrifice your credibility for a one-time transaction.  Sure, it feels good while you're doing it, but is it really worth possibly losing the respect of your peers?  Think about it.

And if you do go through with it, make sure you use protection.  And by protection I mean a signed agreement or contract.  But if you didn't use one, always have a back up plan.  And by back up plan I mean write a post about your bad experience and warn other bloggers not to work with them.  Like this post.

You're welcome.

Tuesday Tips: The Thing About Giveaways [and a Giveaway]

I'm sure by now we've all entered a blog giveaway at least once.  And if you love free things as much as I do, you've probably entered about 535631684312 giveaways by now, right?  Giveaways are great for both the blog host as well as the winners (obvs), but there are also some down sides to giveaways, depending on how you go about it.

Here's a guide to giveaways from both view points:  a host (pink) and an entrant (purple).

Tasks/entries:

As a host, you can make people do just about anything (within reason) you want in order to get an entry to win.  You're giving people a chance to win something for free so you want to make them work a little for it, and that's totally understandable.  Giveaways are also a surefire way to get people to follow your social media accounts so it's okay to try and cover all your bases.

As an entrant, giveaways are a great way to score free stuff by doing a few tasks, but even as a lover of all things free, I tend to get discouraged from entering a giveaway that has 35446 different tasks to do just to raise my chances of winning.  Usually I just do the mandatory one and a few of the easy ones and that's it.

Group giveaways:

I've participated in a few group giveaways and they're a great way to make new blog friends and usually require very little effort if someone else is hosting it.  It is a good way to gain new followers and traffic to your blog since the giveaway is mentioned and/or posted on every blog that participates but it doesn't guarantee that your blog stats will go up.  Also, you should be very picky about who's giveaway you join.  If you blog all about cats, don't try to hop on to a dog lover group's giveaway.  You won't get the results you were hoping for.

I'll be honest with you:  I rarely enter group giveaways.  It's a lot of work going through the entries, clicking the links to follow, copying/pasting tweets, commenting, pinning, etc.  And to be even more honest, usually I don't even care for the blogs hosting the giveaway - I just want the free stuff.  I'll never actually read that blog and then later on will probably delete it from my feed because I won't remember why I had followed them in the first place.  Keep it simple, people!

Prizes:

I used to fret over what kind of dramatic, over-the-top prize would give me the most followers but after a while I realized that no matter what the prize is, people will enter and look forward to more from you.  So I quit trying to top everyone else's giveaway and started giving away stuff that was easy (and cheap) for me to get because giving away expensive crap was only hurting my budget.  A good idea is to try and find sponsors for your giveaways where they provide the prize and you promote their company/product.

Free is free.  Even if you're giving away one tube of mascara, as long as it's not used, I want it.  Some of the best prizes are the goody bags full of random stuff and gift cards that I'll actually use.  I also love the giveaways sponsored by Etsy sellers and online boutiques because it introduces me to more places to shop!

Honesty:

Being honest about your prizes, your tasks, and picking your winner is important.  Don't set something up if you can't follow through.  You want people to be honest with you so you need to be honest with them as well.  Put your terms out there so there is no confusion or miscommunication.  Also, if for some reason you can't follow through with your giveaway, let the winners know.  Follow up with them and give them an alternative if you need to.  If you're genuine and sincere, they will understand.  And remember, some people enter giveaways just for the free stuff and will never read your blog.  It's okay.

I can't speak for everyone else, but when it comes to entering giveaways I like to be honest all the time.  If I don't want to follow, I won't, and I won't pretend that I did just to get the entry.  What goes around comes around.  Just remember that.

So what did you guys think about my take on giveaways?  Have you hosted one yet?  How far would you go to win something really awesome?

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I was really busy actually working so I didn't get around to writing my giveaway post yesterday like I had planned.  This year I set a goal for myself to host one giveaway each month but June has been absolutely bananas so I really had no clue what prize to give away this month!

It finally hit me this morning after I emailed a friend about Sarah and Bad Bad Jewelry and how awesome it was that her necklaces sold out on Nastygal because I fucking love Nastygal, that I should give away something that ties Bad Bad Jewelry, Nastygal, and my dream of starting my own business together.

BOOM.  #GIRLBOSS it is.

I haven't even gotten my paws on this book yet but I'm giving one of you a chance to win a copy of it!  Once the giveaway is over and a winner is chosen, I'm going to order two copies - one for the winner, and one for myself because wtf, I want to read it too!  And it can be like our own exclusive book club where we can be book buddies and talk about our favorite parts and skype about it and leave annoying quote comments on other peoples blogs and braid each others' hair and...you get the picture.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Good luck!

Tuesday Tips: Schedule, shmedule.

If you’re anything like me, you saw the word “schedule” and already made up your mind that this was one post you weren’t going to like.  Trust me, I know.  I’m a schedule hater myself.  You give me a schedule of things to do and I’m probably going to dump it as soon as you turn your back.  Fuck that noise, I do what I like.  But, being that blogging is one of the things that I like, I slowly started to ease up on my haterade and began incorporating a few helpful habits into my blog routine.  Without realizing it, I created a (gasp) schedule!

First, I revisited my blogging goals and brainstormed a few ideas that would help me to reach those goals.  I downloaded a blog planner as a visual and physical reminder to help keep me on track with posting consistently.  The planner I have also has a bunch of features and pages to help with daily "blog maintenance" but I don't use those anymore.  They're tedious and time consuming and I'm all about ease and simplicity.

Now, before you can even start thinking about putting a schedule together, you have to think about what you do now.  Do you blog early in the morning before work?  Late at night?  Or, are you like me and blog during the day when you’re supposed to be working?  Do you read and respond to comment as they come in?  Do you read 863892389 other blogs first and then have no idea what to write on your own blog?  Read this, then figure out what works and what doesn’t.

Alright, now let’s start this schedule thing!  Here’s my personal formula for success:

Write, Publish, Promote, Respond, Visit, Repeat.

Or WPPRVR if you're into acronyms.

WRITE:  Write your post.  Whatever you want to write about, do so.  Don’t worry about what other people have been posting about – is your blog about them, or about you?  Having a theme (confessions, shit men say, Friday faves, etc.) can be awesome as long as you’re true to yourself and your writing style.

PUBLISH:  Once your writing process is complete, add in whatever else you think is necessary such as images, gifs, or ecards and publish it.  You can publish automatically like I do, or schedule it to go live at a certain time.  I don’t concern myself with “peak hours” and don’t usually schedule my posts unless I know I’ll be M.I.A. that day.  #aintnobodygottimeforthat

PROMOTE:  Promoting your post brings traffic and attention to your blog.  I’m horrible at promoting my posts so I love those apps that will auto-promote my post once it goes live.  Google+, Bloglovin’, and Facebook can do that.  Another great thing to do is to add your post to a link-up.  Kathy’s confessions are always a hit.

RESPOND:  This one is a big one for me.  I used to respond to comments as soon as they came in but noticed that not everyone would come back for my next post.  Since I sometimes post inconsistently, it’s hard to expect that people will be anxiously awaiting my next post, and wetting their pants for the chance to write a comment on it.  So, I switched up my game plan.  I still read every comment as it comes in (unless of course, I’m sleeping) but I keep my replies locked in my mind and respond only AFTER I’ve published a new post that day.  Usually, your response will bring them back to your blog and they’ll end up commenting on the newest post too.  This is how some of the greatest blog friendships start.

VISIT:  Okay, this one sort of ties in with responding but I like to separate them since you’re doing two separate things.  It’s one thing to respond to comments that people leave on your blog, but it’s an entirely different thing to visit their blog and comment on one of their posts.  Return the favor and get to know that blogger – chances are they’re pretty frikken awesome too.  So reply to their comment and leave a new comment of your own.

REPEAT:  Do I seriously need to expand on this?  No?  Good.

Like I said, I'm horrible with schedules.  Sometimes I don't have enough time to respond or visit that day.  Sometimes I don't even write a post.  It's all gravy, baby.  Don't sweat the small stuff.  Schedules change all the time so just flag those emails and respond when you get a break in your day.  The true blog friends, the people who you want following and commenting on your blog, won't mind if you take a while to reply.  We all have a life outside of blogging too, you know.

So, what do you think?  Do you have a blog schedule or a few helpful habits you follow?  What's your life outside of blogging like?  Do you have any tips or topics to contribute to the series?  Let me know!

Tuesday Tips: Let's Be Friends

I've touched on this subject a little bit here in the past but lately I've been getting asked this question over and over again:  "How do I make blog friends?"

Let's face it: the blog world is rough.  It seems like everybody and their mamas have a blog these days.  And all those bloggers seem to have their own little cliques and groups that you want so badly to be a part of.  So, how do you get in?

BE GENUINE

No matter what, always be true to yourself.  I learned this the hard way.  If you've followed my blog from the beginning (and a HUGE thank you if you're still with me), you'd probably notice how much this little blog has changed since then.  When I first started this blog, it was basically an outlet for me to vent and document my life - like a public diary or journal.  Then, after following a few different blogs, I started posting outfits, crafts, beauty, and other random shit.  It was basically a hot mess around here because I wanted to be doing everything that everyone else was doing but I was just desperately grabbing at anything that I could.

After a while I got sick of it.  I was sick of trying to fit in with the "cool bloggers" and their Tory Burch flats, mason jars, and Michael Kors watches.  In reality, I don't like to wear flats, didn't understand the hype about mason jars, and couldn't afford to spend $300+ on a frikken watch.  I finally got real with myself and said "Fuck It" - if I can't be who I am, what's the point?  Surprisingly, after changing the tone and direction here on the blog, I've actually gained more genuine followers and friends who really do care about what I have to blab about.

GREAT MINDS THINK ALIKE

Okay, so what if you're being genuine, but still can't seem to fit in?  Well the answer is simple:  Don't follow douchebags.  Haha.  I kid.  But not really.  If you blog passionately about dogs but you're trying to gain the respect and friendship of a New York fashion blogger who lives in a studio with her gal pals, chances are, you won't have a great connection with that person.  Sure, they may comment from time to time saying how cute your pup is, but most likely that's all you'll get out of them.

Bloggers who you have more in common with are more likely to befriend you.  I'm not saying you'll never be friends with a certain person, but blog life is just like real life - find people who share the same interests and sense of humor as you do.

MAKE AN EFFORT

You have to put yourself out there, plain and simple.  You want something, you gotta go and get it.  Commenting on other blogs, trolling the comments of your favorite blogs to find other blogs, and writing posts that will want others to comment on are all ways of getting people's attention.  You can't sit in a corner and expect people to just come to you.  I mean, unless you're offering free candy or something, you probably won't be very successful.

And yes, giveaways do help in getting followers, but that's not what you asked for.  Having blog followers is a lot different than having blog friends.  All friendships require patience, loyalty, common interests, and above all else - fun!  Because seriously, how can you be friends with someone who doesn't know how to laugh at your jokes, ecards and gifs?

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So, that's my two-cents on the subject, what do you think of my tips?  What about you?  How did you find your blogging BFFS?